NH Donk

I've been sick this week so I've only played a little internet poker.

It's certainly fair to say that my poker IQ and poker confidence are way higher than in 2004, 2005, 2006.. The years I mostly played on the internet.

Back then you could call me a donk and I'd at least think about it. I'd review the hand and wonder if maybe I had played it poorly. It was a reasonable possibility. I was a novice and had so much to learn.

But going back online now with all of my experience, it's just so damn pleasurable to get called out for being a poor player. I know I've had more success than most of the players I'm playing against.

Yet these comments always come. And usually from the worst player at the table.

From the player who doesn't think beyond their own two cards. From the player who thinks the best hand preflop has to be the best hand post flop. From the player who doesn't understand math. From the player who doesn't understand how stack sizes effect decisions.

From the player who doesn't understand poker.

If I've learned anything at all from internet poker it would be that the time to be most scared is when you are playing poorly and no one calls you a donk.

If they ain't calling you a donk, you might be sitting with good players.

Good players don't call anyone a donk. Good players don't want you to change the way you are playing. Good players don't want to upset you and risk your leaving the table.

When I watch a player take a bad beat and write "NH" I know that's a dangerous player.

When I watch a player take a bad beat and write "NH DONK" I know that's a player I want to play pots against.

Beware. It's when they're taking your money silently, that I'd be most fearful.

These are the players you want to avoid. If I stay at a table where players are quietly taking my money and acting real polite about it, then I surely deserve the moniker Donk.

But when a bunch of amoeba call me donk?

Well then I need to stay at this table and fulfill their expectations!