Tuesday, April 03, 2007

How could I forget to mention this?

When I was in California over the weekend I ran into Howard P.

We hadn't seen or spoken to each other since a big fight we had over fantasy football in 2002.

When I saw him this weekend we talked about the one thing we have in common: Gambling.

I told him I was living in Vegas.

He said he was visiting next month.

I asked him if he still stayed at the Rio.

Howard was real surprised to hear that I've never heard the story of why he hasn't gone to the Rio in almost 10 years.

Now you can know too.

Howard said he was at the Rio in 1998 playing video poker when some drunk woman came up from behind him and started pushing the buttons on the screen.

Obviously this wasn't too cool but Howard was extra upset because the machine was due to pay out and this chick was going to screwup his jackpot.

So Howard responded by making sure she couldn't touch the machine.

Now none of us were there.

So how he removed her we'll never know.

He said to me that he guided her hands away from the machine.

This is one of those moments in life where the videotape would be ALOT of fun.

Did he stand up? Did he push her? Did he softly guide her away? How is this video not up on You Tube?

If I ever win big at the Rio instead of comps I'm gonna ask for a copy of that tape.

So Howard goes back to pressing buttons on his machine when suddenly her boyfriend/husband guy comes up and hits/pushes Howard from behind.

Now one detail I've left out here is that Howard had just had back surgery. He still has the stitches inside of him. But this doesn't stop Howard. He gets up and clocks the guy in the face.

And then he snaps and proceeds to slam the guy's head into some wall or desk by the security area. Over and over again.

You should have seen the pure joy in Howard's face as he recounted the story.

I don't think I've been that happy ever.

Maybe when the Asteroids cartridge came out for the Atari 2600. Maybe.

But probably not.

Howard told me that he blamed security for not arriving quick enough. It's the old "if your security was doing a better job then I wouldn't have had to slam the guy's head ten times" defense.

The best part of the story is that at the end of the weekend the Rio wouldn't give Howard any comps for his play. Nothing.

Howard couldn't believe it.

So Howard told them he'd never come back.

Can you imagine that?

How in the world does the Rio not give him any comps for his play?

What the hell do you have to do at the Rio to get some comps? Kill someone?

Howard responded by asking to be taken off of their mailing list.

So basically Howard and the Rio have had the same agreement since 1998 that Howard and I have had since 2002.

We're both off of each other's mailing lists.


Darren said...

who is howard p.?

EskimoQuinn said...

El Guapo.

Check Raise Chin said...

Imagine if you had changed howard's roster or something.....