Saturday, April 26, 2008

Vegas Fact #12

Vegas Fact #12
There are slot machine tournaments and human beings compete in them.

I've seen it with my own two eyes.

And here I thought it was still exciting enough to just play slots. You know. Hit a jackpot and win some money. I didn't realize that slot players have taken their game to the next level. I had no idea just how competitive the whole slots scene has become.

Who knew?

It's not enough to just beat the slot machine anymore. Now you must also defeat all the other slot players in the casino. It's a Schwarzengger film and it's personal.

( "He had to go for a spin.")

What's next? Keno tournaments?

Why not have a scratch off lottery ticket tournament?

Walking by this slot machine tournament felt similar to the first time I heard about Civil War reenactments.

In both cases I was hit with an immediate fascination. People really do that? Wow.

I'll be big enough to say I never took the time to consider what a slot machine tournament might look like. The idea of it seemed boring. How interesting could it be to watch someone press a button?

But now that I've seen one I will admit I was completely wrong. I have seen the light. Slot tournaments are quite the sight to see. I'm a huge fan.

Rows and rows of people speed pressing a button.

Speed is the key. Time is limited. Thus we aren't just watching someone hit a button mindlessly. No sirree. This is someone focused on getting as many spins as possible!

And the only move in any of their arsenals is to press that damn button. As fast as they can. Over and over.

According to Sklansky's Slot Machine Tournament Basic Strategy book there's nothing you ever need to be doing in a slot machine tournament other than pressing the button.

Most players follow his strategy so you can imagine the non-stop action. Everyone pressing as fast as they can with an intensity normally reserved for participating in a speed walking race. (That is a speed walking race with a cash prize.)

Watching these people play slots was kind of like watching a drunk person wait for the elevator. You know they're gonna keep pushing that button. Cause the 'vator ain't here yet.

You think poker tournaments have variance? Try spending a year on the World Slot Tour.

The great ones shine through. The true champions.

The people born to do this.

The gifted ones.

The people who press buttons faster than the rest of us.


lj said...

LMAO. i had the same reaction when i first heard about slot machine "tournaments" last summer, but i could never capture the feeling as well as you just did.

Julius_Goat said...

"If it weren't for luck, none of us would win any of them."

-Phil Slotmuth, 11 time WSOS bracelet winner.

kurokitty said...

Just imagine if you applied Comcast High Speed Internet to a slotto? You would never lose.

Wwonka said...

Hey I love my slot tourneys. Where else does the casino put you up for the weekend. Pay you to jam the buttons as fast as you can. Give you gifts and a Nice open Bar Party at the end.

Don't knock slot tourneys they are +EV Unless you count all the money you lost to get there.