Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Vegas Fact #11

Vegas Fact #11
The birds living up in the tree in my backyard chirp for 24 hours a day.

This seems wrong. I grew up in the city. this how nature's supposed to work? I'm not sure when they started singing 24/7. I don't recall them chirping last November when we moved in. But at some point this bird jam began and it just won't stop.

I don't think any song has gone on for this long since Phish played Tweezer at the 1995 Brigadoon Music Festival. Damn that Scottish Village. Always appearing for one day every hundred years.

If you've never been to Brigadoon let me be the one to tell you that their poker tournaments are complete nightmares. Stay away. They take a lifetime to finish. Seriously. You'll understand what I'm talking about the first time you find yourself waiting 100 years for the blinds to go up. It'll drive you crazy. Kind of like if birds were chirping all the time.

Hey shouldn't these birds occasionally take a break? Maybe get their bird beaks some bird sleep? That's what I would have thought. They've been working hard all day. Yet when the sun goes down their philharmonic symphony just goes on and on and on and doesn't stop at the break of dawn. Nor dusk for that matter.

Hey look outside. I can see the moon. I'm thinking about getting some dinner.

What's that I hear? Oh that's the pretty sound of birds chirping.

Now it's 11:30pm. Maybe I'm going out to play poker. Maybe I'm watching Colbert or Sportscenter. Who knows? It doesn't matter to the birds.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.

Oh look. Now it's 3am. I'm doing whatever it is I do at 3am. And so are the birds. Still chirping away.

If I get up to use the bathroom at 6am, they're still there.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.

I wake up to start my day. The whole thing repeats. Again.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.

Their consistency is so intense, my cats have become numb to the chatter. Oh sure the first few weeks they were losing their minds. Pacing back and forth, staring up at the trees. Looking up at me to see what I could do to help. But now they've learned to block out the sound. Pavlov would be proud.

Perhaps it's perfect for Vegas to have birds singing all time. Completely appropriate for a 24 hour city that just like these birds, never sleeps.

You know how it's hard to tell what time it is inside a casino? Well it's just as hard to tell what time it is if you sit in my house, close your eyes and listen to the birds.

All you'll know is it sure seems like a good time be awake.

Speaking of being awake, here's the entrance to the Hilton Theater at 8:40 AM on the opening Thursday of March Madness.

They had $1 hot dogs. $1 beers. 5 big screens. And no birds.

What more could a human being ask for?


dave said...

Get a bb gun.

Steve said...

Maybe not all birds chirp all the time. Maybe they take rotating chirp and sleep shifts.

Robert said...

Dave is loose aggressive. Steve is tight passive.