Partying with Gelato

The key for me right now is getting myself to the poker table as often as possible.

If I can put in a lot of hours everything else will work itself out.

But it's hard.

The desire isn't always there.

And DVR has absolutely destroyed my life. HBO. The Riches. The Office. Lost. Not to mention the NBA playoffs. And that doesn't even include the 10 hours of sleep I need a night.

Oh and of course this blog. What a pain in the ass. What the hell do you people want from me?

So yeah. I gotta find more time to spend at the tables.

Cause if I ain't spending my time at the tables, what the hell are we doing in Vegas?

It sure ain't to party.

Case in point: Friday night my wife and I found a cool Gelato store open in the suburbs at 10:45 PM and boy were we psyched. And as we're eating our dessert the thought occurs to me that if we're 10 years younger and living in Vegas on a Friday night we're probably going out to some club and who knows what other substances are involved.

But now in my late 30's I can go out on a Friday night and party with Gelato.

I mentioned DVR destroying my life. Part of my wasting time with television problem is also all the "On Demand" stuff available for free with our cable package here in Vegas. It sure didn't work that way in NY. But here I get to catch up on back episodes of shows like WEEDS and DEXTER .

I'm not sure how many of you watch DEXTER but Dexter is guy who is a serial killer. He also happens to work for the Police. But don't worry. Dexter is the "good kind" of serial killer. He only kills bad people who deserve it.

In many ways I feel like Dexter at the poker table.

I seek out the bad players. The players who deserve to lose their money.

Dexter does it for justice.

I do it for profit.

Every time I sit down at the poker table I look around for my next victim.

I figure out who I am going to try to play pots with.

This is more important to me than what cards I have.

If there's no one at the table I want to be in a hand with then it's a bad table.

That last sentence is worth repeating. If there's no one at the table I want to be in a hand with then it's a bad table.

You can read all the poker books. You can play for a million hours. Learn and study every move there is. But if there aren't weak opponents at your table then you really shouldn't be there.

Tonight was a Saturday so as usual I got to sit with some really bad players.

One strange feeling I experienced was it didn't feel good to win money from them.

I actually felt bad. These people have no idea how to play the game. They are giving their money away. Now I guess the way I'm supposed to frame it is they're visiting Vegas and they're either going to give their money to me or to the casino. So of course I need it more than the big corporate hotel does. But when someone reraises you on the river with their flush on a double paired board you gotta feel bad for them

That sort of play is nothing like I see on the weekday afternoons when it's just me and the rounders. At those tables no one is giving action.

But on this Saturday night at the MGM no one wants to fold. The guy to my left tells me he's already lost 10k this weekend. I get to watch him rebuy 3 times but before I can feel bad he reassures me that this costs him far less than playing craps in the pit.

For him poker is relaxation. A break from losing bigger money.

He played every hand which maybe could have been effective if he was raising. But he always just called preflop and then usually folded on the flop to any continuation bet.

I also won a decent sized pot from a woman to my right who bet every street with her underpair. I had top pair and when she showed her hand I actually felt bad. Damn sensitivity.

The other thing of poker interest that happened to me today was I got called out this afternoon for not talking enough.

Some loud guy wearing a pinky ring points to me midway through a hand and says "This guy hasn't said a word since he sat down."

I stared at him and smiled.

He then asked me if I spoke English.

I told him "I speak English a little."

Some experts say you want to be friendly at the table to make the people around you as comfortable as possible so that they'll play loose and bet and feel good about giving their money away but the truth is I like sitting there in silence.

I get my Zen on and being quiet helps me pass the time.

I've already heard all the conversations that occur at the poker table. They're not that interesting.

And inevitably anytime I get into a conservation at the table I get asked what I do for a living. Personally that question has always been tough to answer. It's part of why I liked hanging out in France a few years ago. No one ever asked me what I did. People there weren't immediately identified and stereotyped by their jobs the same way we do here.

The best answer I have is sometimes I tell people I'm a professional poker player.

That seems to get a lot of laughs at 1/2.